Month: December 2012

Photo of the Year 2012 – 12. Garn Wen

Chose this photo for the very end of the year not because it’s fantastic or particularly exciting, but because it’s familiar…and that’s a powerful thing. This is a picture of my favourite view, with my bike, at the top of my mountain, where my mam’s ashes are scattered, where I spend beautiful, crucial time with my God to get my heart and my head sorted so that I can fulfil my calling as a disciple, a husband a dad, a pastor and a friend. This year has been the hardest year of my life, but like my mountain – I’m still here and I’m still in the business of giving glory to my God.

Happy new year guys.

See you in 2013…

Garn Wen Dec 2012

Battle Weary

For many painful reasons, 2012 has been the toughest year of my life. By quite a long way. While, by God’s grace, my faith has remained in tact, there were moments earlier in the year when I literally thought I was done with gospel ministry. I was exhausted both emotionally and spiritually. Battle weary. Some days I would find myself crying for no reason. Other days I would just feel REALLY angry. Others just numb. Not only did I seriously doubt my calling as a pastor, I also questioned my ability to be a good husband, father and friend. In His kindness to me God has given me a wonderful wife who knows how to give me grace in the right ways and at the times. Similarly, the men who I lead Hill City with have been incredibly supportive and encouraging. I also have good friends who have come alongside, spoken into my life and been more of a blessing to me than they’ll ever know.

However, as 2012 draws to a close, I find myself in a very different place. I am hope-filled. Expectant. Joyful. Why? Not because everything’s sorted now, but because as I was brought to my knees and made to confront my own weakness and my fragility, I was in the perfect position to receive the grace that I so desperately needed. “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6).

Below is a video of a poem that I wrote during my darkest hour back in the summer. I recorded it in the Autumn, but even then wasn’t sure whether or not I should post it up online or not. Ultimately I decided that I would post it up and the end of the year as I think it does offer hope. At least I hope it does. Maybe as the year comes to an end you too feel exhausted, frustrated and battle weary. If so, can I encourage you to let the God of grace be your all sufficiency.

God bless.