Month: December 2012

Photo of the Year 2012 – 12. Garn Wen

Chose this photo for the very end of the year not because it’s fantastic or particularly exciting, but because it’s familiar…and that’s a powerful thing. This is a picture of my favourite view, with my bike, at the top of my mountain, where my mam’s ashes are scattered, where I spend beautiful, crucial time with my God to get my heart and my head sorted so that I can fulfil my calling as a disciple, a husband a dad, a pastor and a friend. This year has been the hardest year of my life, but like my mountain – I’m still here and I’m still in the business of giving glory to my God.

Happy new year guys.

See you in 2013…

Garn Wen Dec 2012

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Battle Weary

For many painful reasons, 2012 has been the toughest year of my life. By quite a long way. While, by God’s grace, my faith has remained in tact, there were moments earlier in the year when I literally thought I was done with gospel ministry. I was exhausted both emotionally and spiritually. Battle weary. Some days I would find myself crying for no reason. Other days I would just feel REALLY angry. Others just numb. Not only did I seriously doubt my calling as a pastor, I also questioned my ability to be a good husband, father and friend. In His kindness to me God has given me a wonderful wife who knows how to give me grace in the right ways and at the times. Similarly, the men who I lead Hill City with have been incredibly supportive and encouraging. I also have good friends who have come alongside, spoken into my life and been more of a blessing to me than they’ll ever know.

However, as 2012 draws to a close, I find myself in a very different place. I am hope-filled. Expectant. Joyful. Why? Not because everything’s sorted now, but because as I was brought to my knees and made to confront my own weakness and my fragility, I was in the perfect position to receive the grace that I so desperately needed. “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6).

Below is a video of a poem that I wrote during my darkest hour back in the summer. I recorded it in the Autumn, but even then wasn’t sure whether or not I should post it up online or not. Ultimately I decided that I would post it up and the end of the year as I think it does offer hope. At least I hope it does. Maybe as the year comes to an end you too feel exhausted, frustrated and battle weary. If so, can I encourage you to let the God of grace be your all sufficiency.

God bless.